Typical Females
by vodoodollz
Summary: He warned her about the book... Severus comes home to find Lily in something she shouldn't be snooping in. Severus/Lily. Marauders Era. Oneshot.


**This is an extended version of a short story I did for classes. Not beta'd yet. Oneshot.**

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Severus was not having a very good day. In fact it could be said he wasn't even having a pleasant day. But that was typical of a teenage boy, even more so for Severus. It had been a bad day from the start. Not only did he wake late, and in doing so missed his chance to flee to his summer holiday job before his father awoke from his drunken slumber, causing the black right eye he now sported, he had dropped not one, not two but a total of five plates at work, resulting in half the cuts he had on his hands. Now I say half, as the other half that decorated his slim, pale fingers came from the boss getting him to prepare the vegetables after whacking him one upside the head and a threat of firing. That was only the tip of the iceberg that was his bad day. At least he was getting in practice for his beloved potions.

So it was understandable that Severus was quite irritable. He found good fortune to come home to find that his father had already left for his 'home away from home' – the pub – a full three hours earlier then he would normally, and was blessing Merlin that things were starting to look up. That was until he opened his bedroom door.

This however was not to be and things were definitely not looking up for him. Seems fate had more of a bone to pick with him today than he thought.

He had warned her about the book. He made sure of it, the first time he allowed her into his room – his life. Hence the reason it stayed hidden in the old, dusty box under his bed. It had stayed there forgotten for years, until she found it. Typical females. For once, you run late and they have to arrive early. Even letting themselves into your house – which is dangerous in itself, with his father – but also into his room. The fact that he gave her the key was beside the point.

Upon finding a dirty room they just 'have' to clean it. Why the always insisted everything to be cleaned, he never knew. It was in the _Guidebook: Why To Never Live With A Female_, Reason #17 Females Equals Clean Freaks – along with Rule #5 Never Give A Female The Key To Your House. Now he won't be able to find anything. A quick thought of horror and he hoped she hadn't found his pron collection. With a quick look to the right he was disappointed to find that she had indeed found his rather impressive collection of 'filthies'. Fuck. There goes Reason #21. What? He was a typical teenage boy, hormones and all. He looked back to his original and most concerning horror.

He really should have brunt the darn thing years ago. Of course he can recall several times that he tried, however, his mother had caught him in the act – resulting in boxed ears on all accounted times. Yet another typical, sentimental woman. He was sure that came under Reas- no, that was in _Why To Leave Home At The First Opportune Moment_.

Fuck. Merlin he seemed to be swearing a lot today. Had he not put **Do Not Open** on the lid. He was sure he had. In red. In **bold**, capital red. Yep – even he could see the red writing from where he stood in the doorway. Cursed typical females. There she sat with a guilty look on her face. She looked like the Headmaster when he saw the Transfiguration professor.

Yeah, she didn't see the warning sign alright.

He growls and asks "What are you doing?" even though he knows it's a pointless and quite obvious question. She smiles up at him, emerald eyes twinkling, more than the damned Headmaster's when you agree to his damned Lemon Drops, beautiful red hair contrasting against he pale cheek as her laughter rings around the room like bells chiming.

Her nose cutely wrinkles as she tries to hold back another round of laughter at the redness of his face. Her shaking hand holds up a glossy piece of square cardboard to me so that he could see what held her rapt attention until he opened my door. More glossy squares of likeness to the one she holds up are scattered around her like the petals of a flower she is named after, the book in her lap.

"You look so adorable running around naked as a child," she gasps.

New bouts of laughter fill the room. Yep, he should have burnt that book ages ago... typical females.

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**As I stated before, this is the extended version. This is kind of what I was thinking about when I was writing this. If you want to see the original, it's in my deviantart gallery (the link to my site is on my author's page) and just find it in my gallery. It has the same title.**

**Yeah I know, Snape seems alittle OCC, but this is something new I did, working on a male's perspective using my perspective of a typical teenage male. (seems alittle ironic...) I can just imagine the 'Dungeon Bat Snape' being a closet pervert. Come on! What typical teenage boy has a hidden stash of pornos? I found my little brother's (quite impressive, if I must say so myself) stash the other day.**

**I also want those guidebooks he has been reading...*chuckle***

**Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!**


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